


All Ye Who Enter

by abstractconcept



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bondage, Crossdressing, Humor, M/M, Spanking, pure silliness, snarry, tiny fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 17:23:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10313300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abstractconcept/pseuds/abstractconcept
Summary: Hermione learns to heed the warnings on the Potions Master’s door.





	

**Author's Note:**

> NOTES: A drabble for fodirteg on the prompt ‘hidden warnings.’ Snarry.  
> (This was written back when hidden warnings became popular on LJ.)

Hermione raised her hand to knock, but paused as she read the sign on the door to Snape’s office. It said, _Severus Snape, Potions Master._ Beneath this were the odd words, ( _Tap wand here to see warnings._ ) Below that the words ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER HERE cheerfully greeted those who had gotten past the first two lines.

Hermione rolled her eyes. She didn’t tap her wand against the door, because she didn’t _need_ any warnings about how awful the Potions Master was, thank you very much. She was already well aware. And as for the rest of it, he was obviously just being dramatic, as usual. In fact, not only would she not tap her wand against the door, she wasn’t even going to _knock._ She would just bustle right in and tell him what potions Pomfrey needed, and he could damn well act like an adult about it.

But as she pushed back the door, there was a _thwack_ followed by a drawn-out groan, and she paused despite herself. “Um. Professor Snape?”

As the door swung wide it revealed Harry, bent over Snape’s desk. His cheeks were red on both ends and he was wearing a pleated skirt, hiked up over his hips, and knee socks, and his hands were tied behind his back in a rather uncomfortable-looking position. Snape stood behind him with a paddle raised high, an erection raised almost as high, and an irritated look on his face.

“Harry!” she burst out. “What is he doing to you?”

 “It’s all right, Hermione,” Harry hurried to say. “It’s totally consensual!”

 As Hermione gaped, Snape growled, “Didn’t you read the invisible warnings?” as he buttoned himself up.

 “What?”

He stomped over and grabbed her by the arm, dragging her out of the room, leaving Harry still trussed and exposed, waiting on his desk like a paper to be marked up. “The warnings! On the door!” he tapped his wand against the sign, and the silver letters flowed like mercury and re-formed themselves, reading _Spanking, bondage and crossdressing._ “You’ll notice that _nowhere_ does it say non-con,” the Potions Master added severely.

“Oh...” Hermione said, a little off-balance. “Non-con?”

“Non-consensual sex. I would have _warned_ for that. It’s damned bad form not to. So don’t you dare imply that there’s anything in there that I haven’t warned you about beforehand! When you open that door, you take your chances. Now go away.”

“It could have been worse!” Harry called to her anxiously. “It could have said bestiality or mpreg!”

 “Don’t be ridiculous,” she heard Snape scoff as he closed the door. “You know the Fertility Philtre won’t be ready until early next week...”

Hermione shut her eyes long enough to get her balance back, then tottered off in the direction of the infirmary, hoping Madam Pomfrey had something for acute shock. Maybe the woman kept scotch somewhere.

Next time, she would _definitely_ read the warnings.


End file.
